I Give Up

I don’t know about you other parents out there, but I have a really hard time with wanting to control all the little things in my house. I want to control what time my kids get up (“Can’t you sleep a little longer on the weekends?!”, how they eat their food (“Quit chomping!”) , how they wrestle with each other (“Someone is definitely going to get hurt!”), the level of their voices in the house (“Shhh!”), yada, yada, yada.

I’m feeling sappy today, and it’s starting to really hit me that we have two ten year old boys now…where has the time gone?! I still think of them as little 5 year olds (see above nostalgic photo of the first time Daniel and I went fishing with them…awwwww!), but lately,  Daniel and I are definitely starting to feel like they are needing some more freedom. Guys. Oh my. I never knew it would be so hard to give up this control. Now, I feel like such a nagging mom – and we are definitely in a new stage of figuring out how to raise and discipline them but not make them feel like they are tiny kids anymore.

So? What do we do?

I’ve just started reading a book called Everybody, Always by Bob Goff, and though it’s not quite about giving up control, it is about loving people. The part I have truly loved about the book is that he says not to tell people WHAT TO DO, but to tell them WHO THEY ARE.

You are loved! You are a born leader! You are responsible! You are a truth teller! You are an incredible artist! You are a hard worker! You are so helpful! You are forgiven! You are a child of the king!

He goes on to say that as we do this, they will respond in becoming that person. If we just give them a list of do’s and don’ts, when they are away from us, they will just find another list of rules from someone else to follow, and won’t truly know who they are inside. Speaking true identity statements into them is key.

It’s genius! So. I give up. I’m giving up control over the little things. I’m going to start speaking more truth into them than I ever have along with guiding them not controlling them. I know it’ll be a tough go at first, but it will be so worth it when they grow up, and I see the person they’ve become. No, they won’t ever be perfect. Yes, I will have to give them guidance and grace. But ultimately, I can only control myself and how I love them.

I want them to grow up knowing that I love them for who they are and that who they are is amazing! Their identity is from God, and it’s my responsibility to keep telling them alllllllllll about it.

Before you go to sleep
Say a little prayer
Every day in every way, it’s getting better and better

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boys

This is just the soundtrack of our life.